Dear courageous leaders,
I have been sitting with something lately.
Not a crisis. Not a dramatic failure. Something quieter and, in some ways, harder to name.
I am watching leaders I deeply respect lose their footing. Not because they lack skill or commitment. Not because they do not care. But because the pressure has been sustained long enough that something inside has started to drift.
The urgency is real. The stakes are real. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, how I am leading gets crowded out by what I need to get done.
Mission-driven leadership carries a particular weight right now. Resources are tighter. Timelines are compressed. Boards want movement. Teams are fatigued. And the communities you serve still need what they need, regardless of what is swirling above them.
When pressure rises and stays, coherence can quietly erode. You say yes when you mean something more complicated. You hold back in a meeting because the moment does not feel safe. You make a call that is efficient but leaves you unsettled. Nothing dramatic. Just a slow, accumulated distance from what you actually stand for.
That distance is worth paying attention to.
The Lens: Walking Your Why
In Susan David's Emotional Agility framework, this stage is called Walking Your Why. It is the art of living from our values, not as destinations we arrive at, but as directions that shape how we show up, especially when it is hard.
Values are a compass. They do not promise smooth terrain. They do not remove tension or uncertainty. But they steady you through it. As David describes in Emotional Agility, when people connect with their values, they act with coherence and self-trust, even when emotions are strong or the path is unclear.
This matters because under pressure, most of us default. We default to fear. To habit. To what will earn approval, reduce conflict, or relieve discomfort fastest. We stop leading from what we have chosen and start leading from what we have inherited, or what the moment seems to demand.
Walking your why is the move back.
It is important to name what values are not. They are not goals. Goals have finish lines. Values do not. Showing up with honesty is not something you achieve once and check off. It is a direction you choose again and again, in a meeting, a hard conversation, a decision under pressure.
Values are also not the same as expectations, others' or your own. Inherited values, things you were told to stand for, and performative values, things you display because they look good, do not sustain you. Chosen values do. There is a difference between the leader who says they value transparency and the leader who actually names something hard in the room because it matters.
Courage belongs here too. Not the absence of fear, but the willingness to take one small, aligned step in the direction that matters, even when you are not sure how it will land. Discomfort is part of meaningful leadership. We do not wait until we feel ready before we act with integrity. We move in the direction of what matters, and we let that movement restore coherence.
Identity, judgment, wisdom, and behavior come back into alignment through this. Not all at once. One step at a time.
Clear Eyes & Full Hearts Practice: What the Func?
This practice comes from Susan David's Emotional Agility work. It begins with a question that reframes how we meet strong emotion.
Instead of managing emotion, suppressing it, or being authored by it, we get curious about it. We ask: What is the function of this feeling?
I think of it as WTF? Which stands for What the Func?
Emotions are not noise. They are data. They point toward something. When we ask what the function of an emotion is, we stop treating feelings as inconveniences to be managed and start treating them as signposts pointing toward what matters.
The Practice (5 minutes)
Recall one recent strong or difficult emotion. It might be frustration from a meeting that went sideways. Anxiety about a decision you have been circling. Fatigue from a conversation that keeps repeating. Or even a flash of joy after something clicked.
Name the emotion simply. Do not analyze it yet. Just name it.
Now ask: What the Func? What value or need was this emotion pointing toward?
Sit with it. The frustration might be pointing toward a value of respect, or clarity, or fairness. The anxiety might be pointing toward something you care about deeply and are afraid of losing. The fatigue might be signaling that a value is being violated repeatedly without being named. The joy might be pointing toward exactly what you want more of.
When we ask what the function of an emotion is, something shifts. The feeling stops being a problem and starts being a guide. We gain flexibility. We gain self-compassion. And we gain clarity about what actually matters, which is the beginning of values-aligned action.
Journal Prompts
Choose one that resonates.
What emotion has been most present for me lately in my leadership? When I ask what its function might be, what value or need surfaces?
Where am I leading from fear, habit, or the desire for approval right now? What value would I be living from instead if I trusted myself?
What is one thing I have been avoiding or delaying that, if I am honest, matters deeply to me? What is one small, aligned step I could take in that direction?
Leadership Translation
This practice is not only for individuals. Teams and organizations carry emotion collectively.
Before your next team meeting or strategic conversation, try this: When you notice frustration, excitement, or fatigue in the room, get curious about its function. What value or need might this collective emotion be signaling? Respect that is going unacknowledged? Clarity that has not been offered? A commitment that is being quietly eroded?
Emotions at work are often collective signposts. When leaders create space to name them with curiosity rather than manage them away, psychological safety deepens. Truth becomes speakable. And decisions get stronger.
Invitation
If this reflection landed somewhere real for you, I would love to hear what you noticed.
What emotion came up when you tried the practice? What value did it point toward?
You can simply reply and share a sentence. I read every response.
In our next edition, we will explore what it means to move from insight to action, specifically the difference between the goals we feel we have to pursue and the ones we actually want to.
Clear eyes. Full hearts.
Paula
Inspired by Susan David, PhD, author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life and her work on defusion, perspective, and stepping out.
P.S. If you are in a leadership moment where coherence feels far away, where you know what matters but cannot quite find your footing, a complimentary Clarity and Alignment Consultation is always available. It is simply 45 minutes to slow down, name what is here, and identify one values-aligned next step. You do not have to carry it alone.
If you would like to learn more about Ignite Personalized Leadership Coaching and how this work unfolds more deeply, click the button below. You do not have to carry it alone.
And please, spread the word to your trusted colleagues and friends by sharing this edition and inviting them to subscribe.
